Story Five: Safe

From the moment he opened his eyes every morning, his muttering began. Each day was the same: Billy would swing his legs over the bed, examining the scars that his scratchy cotton pajamas did not conceal and curling his toes against the new day.
“What is this place? Damn jail cell. The enemy must have caught me again! Scoundrels- I’ll never give up my secrets! They’ll torture me, and I’ll die a silent man. A hero’s death! Be a good solider, boy.”
The mutterings were always the same, as was the room itself, though it was all but invisible under Billy’s inscrutable gaze. The white-washed walls had long ago become the sooty walls of some god-forsaken dungeon; his soft white sheets, no more than a pile of filthy rags. The window on the wall fit his vision just right: it was small, and barred. There would be no escape that way. He had to consider other options. Billy wished he had more time!
“Tie up the bed sheets to make a rope. Can’t get out the window- fool! The troops will be waiting for my signal. Thieves!”
The door opened precisely at 8:15, the way it did every morning. A nurse stepped in, though whether it was the same nurse or a different one Billy couldn’t say, because he thought they all looked the same. This one had brown hair and eyes, and she was soft and quiet like a mouse. Billy didn’t trust her- he didn’t trust anyone. Surging to his feet, he pointed his right hand at her, pointer finger extended to make a gun, which he steadied with his left hand.
“Woman! Give the signal! You’ve got to help me escape!” She rolled her eyes and stepping toward him, thrust a handful of oddly shaped pills into his outstretched hand. She then stood there, watching as he put the pills to his mouth, watching as each little pod entered his lips, watching as he gulped down water. He showed her an empty hand, but she wasn’t appeased.
“Come on then, open your mouth,” she said sternly. Billy swallowed hard, adjusted his tongue, his teeth, and then opened his mouth a crack. The nurse sighed and folded her arms across her chest. “Oh Billy, not today.” She closed her eyes as the pills flew deftly from his mouth like bullets from a machine gun. They hit her face, bounced off her arms, or flew past her, scattering across the floor.
“You can’t fool me, I’m Julius Caesar!” He screamed into her face and then collapsed back onto his bed, shaking from the exertion of the early morning battle. The nurse said nothing; she turned and fled quickly from the room. “Retreat! The enemy retreats! After them, lads! Give no quarter!” He didn’t move from the bed, and within minutes the nurse had returned, the doctor and a large male nurse in tow. They said little to him while they forced pill after pill down his stubborn throat, and they did not stick around to hear Billy’s stories about the Great War, which seemed to grow Greater and More Terrible with every telling. None of the institution’s staff had yet been able to determine whether Billy had ever actually fought in a war; one of the nurses swore that he had been in World War II, but no one in Lakeview Home, including Billy himself, would corroborate these facts.
When Billy had taken all of his medicine, the doctor and both nurses left the room again. “Fool! Coward! Come back and fight like a man!” The door remained closed, however, which suited Billy just fine. Edging himself carefully out of the bed, Billy hobbled to the window and threw his breakfast to the birds. He wasn’t going to let any old nurse poison him- the medicine had been bad enough. He didn’t like the food anyway; it was always the same, even after one-hundred years. He had once suggested to the cook a serious revision of the menu, but he was a swarthy man with a reputation for blood, and Billy had vowed never to test him. As a younger man, Billy might have jumped into action, but he knew enough now to choose his battles.
“Nothing as noble as defending one’s honor and the honor of one’s kin,” he reminded himself diligently. “A bloody death in the service of the Greater Good- that’s a man’s real work. That’s his real service. I remember the Battle on the Hill, the stench of sweat and the stains of blood. We fought the Good Fight, and not in vain. Surrounded on all sides, we rallied to our courageous captain, and fought the bloody battle for Survival. Men, ready your arms!”
The door had opened again, unexpectedly this time. A pair of big blue eyes stared timidly around the edge of the door, and Billy motioned generously for the attackers to Halt! He recognized the blue eyes from a time long ago: a snowy day when one of the nurses had insisted that he go into the cafeteria with the other residents. Everyone was writing their letters to Santa Claus for Christmas, the nurse said, and he should be good and write one too. So he went.
He didn’t think that writing to Santa Claus was such a bad idea, even if he had his doubts about whether the man was real. He needed a sword, because his had grown dull and sometimes disappeared from the room altogether for days at a time. If the Old Man was real, he would know the value of a good sword, and if he was not- well, at least the nurse would be happy, anyway. Billy’s plans took an unexpected turn, however, when two small girls had run into the Cafeteria, giggling together. One had stopped by his table, looked hard into his eyes, and declared him “Santa Claus” for the entire world to hear.
“Braggart! Ruffian! Traitor! Cow! How dare you defile the name of the Greatest Fighter Who Ever Lived! I’m General Custer! Bah!” He had screamed it every day since then, in case anyone forgot. He never saw that girl again- he suspected that the Enemy had recalled her from her failed mission- but the other girl, Blue Eyes, was here with him now. He waved a hand imperiously, inviting her in.
Blue Eyes did not move from the doorway. She peered around his cell, out his window, and asked in a quiet voice why everything was white. Her eyes were bigger than he remembered: big like the sky, big enough to get lost in, even. Billy didn’t answer right away, to make sure it wasn’t a trick. He settled in for the siege, prepared to wait her out, to see what kind of trickery she would play. But she waited patiently for many long minutes, and then asked the question again. She wanted to know why everything was white, and that was all.
“The enemy!” He whispered urgently at last. “A mind trick of the enemy. Don’t be blind! Don’t let them win- you can’t! Be a good solider, boy!” He reached for the sword at his waist and, finding none, settled for pointing his finger like a gun. He aimed first at her, and then out the window, prepared for action while he moved cautiously closer to the girl.
“They’re out for me, but they’ll kill anyone that gets in the way. The secret! Yes, it’s my secrets that they want- don’t worry, yours are safe. But fight them off! Show no mercy! If they capture you, do you think they will treat you with kindness? Bah! Be a good soldier! Once they get what they came for, the Great War will be lost!”
She started to say something more, a question perhaps, but the sharp voice of a nurse drew her quickly away. He waved his hand after her, urging her on. “Away! Away! Fly away! Flee the enemy, but not in terror!”
A nurse poked her head into the room, instructing him to quiet down so he wouldn’t disturb the other residents. She didn’t want to hear that he cared nothing about that. She only cared that he not disturb the prisoner of 23B. Billy folded his withered hands uncomfortably over his thick chest, his mouth turning down at the corners. The nurse paused, waiting to see what he would say.
“Have I ever told you about the Great War?” The nurse rolled her eyes and closed the door behind her, trapping Billy once again. He shook his head sadly. “We lost a lot of good men out there.”
That night, Billy saw Blue Eyes in his dreams. “Catherine! Catherine!” He called out to her, but she remained huddled in the corner on the floor, her blue eyes wide and full of fear. “I have to rescue you!” He told her urgently, but when he tried to move toward her, his feet failed him. He watched helplessly, horrified, as the building began to crash down around her; he heard her screams and still he couldn’t move. She was being crushed right before his eyes and the world was falling down, and everything he had ever known was gone.
“Catherine!” Billy woke with a start, and his eyes swept the room like a frightened child checking for monsters. He was safe in his white cell, but he knew it would only be a matter of time before They found him. Quietly, he slithered his legs out of bed and stepped softly out the door and down the hall, stepping slowly and lightly so the nurses wouldn’t hear. He counted his steps as he walked, past 23B and around the corner, where he knew Blue Eyes would be. When he reached 100 steps, he stopped and knocked boldly on the door before him.
“Catherine?” He called softly, and waited patiently until a voice told him to come in. He opened the door and stepped quickly inside, enveloping himself in darkness. She was there in the bed- Blue Eyes, not Catherine- but then weren’t they one and the same? Both innocent, both victims- but this one, he could try to save.
“This is no time to sleep! You have to fight the good fight! We’re in a war here, girl! Why let them win when you have everything to lose? Fight for your homeland, for your family. Fight for your life!” Billy was nervous, wringing his hands forcefully together and barely able to speak above a whisper. The pleading in his voice affected her eyes; he watched as they grew smaller, squinting through the darkness, confused. She wanted to know who they were fighting. She wanted to know what the Great War was, because she didn’t know that there was a war being fought right now.
“No time for questions!’ He hissed through the darkness. “No time! I have to rescue you, I have to keep you safe! Oh, Catherine….” A sob built up in his chest, making it hard to breathe.
“We’ve been fighting since before you were born. The enemy! Yes, the enemy is strong, but they haven’t defeated us yet! You aren’t one of them? You can’t be! Traitor! Fool! We must stay strong!” She assured him that she was not fighting for the enemy: she said she did not know how to fight, in fact. And there were many things that she didn’t understand, and she had many questions-
“No time for questions! Have to fly, have to fight! Never give up, never surrender! Don’t you see- don’t you see?” They’ve surrounded us on all sides, and they think they’re winning! But you have to protect yourself- it’s your soul they want! Your very soul! But you can’t give it to them, you can’t! It’s why you have to fight, everyday! You thought you were safe here . . . . We all did. But the enemy keeps coming, and they won’t stop until the lot of us are dead.” He lowered himself, quivering in the heat of the moment, to the floor and stared helplessly at her with eyes brimming with tears. He took a deep breath, and then another, and another after that before he felt he could continue.
“Everyone must fight when it is their time. I tried to protect you… I tried. I can’t fight for you much longer. My time is almost up- but I won’t stop while I’ve got breath in me yet. All this time, 100 years I’ve been fighting. And they haven’t conquered me yet!” She interrupted him now, urgently enough that he let her speak. She wanted to know who they were fighting- as if she hadn’t known all along!
“The Enemy!” He nearly shrieked. “It’s always Them!” But he could tell that she wanted to know more, and so grabbing his left hand with his right, he held himself tightly and went on.
“Evil, soldier. We fight evil. Every day! They say the Great War is over, but they don’t see that the enemy is on all sides. Cowards! They want to take your soul! They won’t stop until they’ve taken everything away. Life, meaning- color! That’s why the walls are white. But we’ve got to soldier on! They’ll take everything. And you thought you were safe here. We all did! But it’s holding cells they’ve built, until they can get your soul. And once that happens, they’ll be nothing left, and everything will turn to black!” When Billy had said all of this, he wanted very much to curl up and cry, and he was very impressed that she did not.
The light flipped on suddenly. A nurse had appeared in the room, livid at finding her charge out of bed and disturbing the sleep of someone else. Billy was horrified at his mistake.
“They’re here! They’re here! The enemy is here! Fight, run for your lives! Flee!” He shouted the warning as loudly as he could, again and again, as he struggled against the nurse. Another woman came, and soon they were able to force Billy out of the room. In the doorway, he reached out, holding desperately onto the frame.
“Catherine,” he moaned weakly. “Oh Catherine. I could never rescue you Catherine. I watched the house burn down, I watched the funeral pyre. But I could never rescue you….” He was broken then, and the nurses were able to coax him back to bed. One brought him a cold glass of water; the other, a handful of pills that she wanted him to take before he went to sleep. He took them both in hand, and they shut off the lights and shut the door, leaving Billy alone in his cell once more.
The next morning, the nurses were all in an uproar. Billy’s room was empty, his few parcels of clothing gone, and he was no where to be found. No one ever saw Billy after that, and only the Girl with the Blue Eyes knew why he had gone. She didn’t know where, although the nurses asked her many times. But she hoped he was safe.